no words

can describe how awesome this past week/weekend was.

wednesday when we first drove down to lakeland, i was with a bunch of middle schoolers and thought "this will be a loong trip." but it actually turned out amazing.
wednesday night i got to see a bunch of my SSTP friends and hang out with jay back at our hotel.
thursday judging went pretty good. 1st round of judging went alright, and 2nd round was better. this day i was starting to make better friends with the other public school kids i was traveling with, and have a good time with them. i also got to meet some pretty cool people that were around me during judging.
that night was the mixer and had a blast again hanging out with my SSTP friends. and then again with the kids from my region as well. that night was really lax since we were done with judging and all. and rooming with Amy was awesome.
friday morning i got the eat lunch with the capital region and then head over to Orlando for MAO state. it was awesome to see people again once i got there because i hadn't seen them in a while.
i took my first topic and individual tests, which went alright. but i didn't care too much :-\.
then back to Lakeland to go to the awards ceremony for SSEF. i thought it was going to be boring at first but it actually went pretty quickly because i was usually in the line waiting for an award or knew someone in the line, so i was anticipating their award. plus, i still hung out with my region, whom i was pretty close to by then. even the teachers i was close to by then, and they were sooo much fun.
plus then i got my $500 special award from the Society of Mining, Metallurgy and Exploration, which i didn't even know i was up for! and i got my 4th place finish in engineering. (higher than the other two kids from my region in engineering (who had beat me at the regional competition), including the guy who's going to ISEF for our region (who didn't get anything, btw)).
it was an amazing feeling, knowing that i placed 4th and got a cash award.
plus it was amazing seeing all my friends also place in their categories.
after the award ceremony, the teachers and kids from my region gave amy and i little gifts and cards because we were their "seniors" which was soo sweet of them and they didn't have to do. i really did have an awesome time with my region.

then i got to head back over to Orlando and arrived at the double tree right at the end of the meeting that night, and got to announce to, at least half the kids, that i got 4th place and $500. which was extremely satisfying.
saturday morning we got up early and took our next two topic tests. again, i didn't care for them much, but did decent anyway. it was also fun hanging out with the senior girls inbetween tests, and getting ready for the awards night for like 2 hours. lol. i think we all got closer on this trip. even the guys too. i think the seniors got a bit closer.
plus, us devising a plan that day to prank the guys room from last year. and using our magic and sweet skills to place maxi-pads all over their room :-) and everyone's priceless expression. lol
we got 5th in the state, and freed was kinda mad. but when you looked at the score sheet, you couldn't blame the seniors because mu had placed in their topic tests and individual and bowl round. the blank page was alpha (which, we can see because they are crazy and don't study anyway) though it was fun during the ceremony making fun of all the kids walking up onto the stage and commenting on their outfits. lol
that night was the senior meeting, and really wasn't that bad.. after that all 7 senior girls slept in
the suite and stayed up talking til like 3:30. i enjoyed that a lot.
friday we woke up and went to City Walk for lunch. i went to Hard Rock with patrick, gaku, and jeremy, and had some good pulled-pork sandwich.

never did it really hit me during MAO state that this was my last state, until the bus ride home. Clara got food poisoning from her lunch and for about an hour she was in the bathroom on the bus throwing up. once we got to the rest stop, we all pitched in to try and make her feel better. i felt awful because i knew she felt awful and everyone else was around her and you don't want to show your weakness but you can't help it, and you feel horrible, but you can't do anything about it, and so you just feel worse. so me, kavi, candace, and noli all helped her. by getting her food and soemthing to drink and calling her mom and taking care of her. once we got back onto the bus, kavita and i sat her down, and she just said how grateful she was that we were helping her out and how she's going to miss us, and then the three of us just started crying. and i realized just how much i am going to miss them and the three of us and how close we've become and in any time in need we're always there for each other. and then we started laughing because we were all crying. it was only really at that moment on the bus ride, but i realized i'm going to miss them and us so much.


this weekend i realized how many friends i do have and how no matter how long you haven't talked to someone or hung out with someone, you can still be great friends. like my sstp friends or even some mao friends.
it was an amazing weekend, and definitely needed, and i really don't want it to end. (in addition, i haven't done any school work in 5 days. so i have no idea what i missed or what i'll have to make up when)
i also have 10 days to decide where i'm going to college. i'm following kavi's tip and hopefully looking at some more standings will help me decide. :-\

best of both worlds?

i wonder about who my friends are sometimes..
like..
i enjoy having my friends and that they're smart and that we are all pretty down to earth and not bubbly and flakey - most of the time/most of us.
but that also carries over to other aspects as well.
prom is coming up and people are deciding whether they want to go or not... some people say flat out no. while others are still iffy.. though, there are still more people that don't want to go than that do.
i enjoy being friends with the upper percentage of our class, but i also enjoy having a good time and going to prom or football games or such. however, i don't really have any friends that feel the same, so it's sometimes hard to enjoy myself at those events..

prom is coming up... and i pretty much going (i have a dress and everything). there's a group forming that i was invited into, and it would be pretty fun, but i'm not best friends with them. my hope is that some of the smart people will join the group as well, so that it wouldn't be completely awkward.
most of this plan depends on who's going in the group.. which is still up for grabs because no one knows if they're going!

the point of this entry was saying that it's hard to find the balance of having smart friends but still having friends to have a good time with at like prom and stuff.
nor do i have a person, i realized. a person that if you wanna do something, you can just call them up and they'll go with you. or it's understood that you'll go with each other to weekend things (or prom). boy or girl, i don't have a set person that i can just call up and hang out with.. :-\

things to find:
best of both worlds
a person


-edit-
being bored and searching around facebook and listening to other people's sb stories/looking at their pictures, i realized why i'm not better friends with the crowd that goes to the destin area for spring break.
so my new question is.. can i find friends that i can have with and still have decent morals? i think i might've found them. hopefully they'll be my group for prom. so much drama is now resting on inviting one person.. :-\ hopefully it'll get sorted out and we'll have a good time.