too late

SPPPPPRRRRRRINNNNNNNGGGG
BBBBRRRREEEAAAK!

haha. i hope this doesn't go by too fast like i know it will. oh well.
still won't do chem until next sunday probably.
haha

spring break

spring break is in a week and 1/2. ann is excited!
ann has a test in just about every class in the next two weeks. so ann has to cram and study for those tests. because most of them decide her grade.
too bad she hasn't had a full, serious week of school in three weeks and so now she isn't really caring about school and homework and just wants to sleep. lol

i'm not doing anything for spring break. which will probably be nice. i'll get to relax. and should probably study for the ACT.
also gotta do that YSP thing by the 15
getting my hair cut tomorrow. and going to take myself shopping. just hope i'll have enough time to do hw after that.

i really like this profile picture. and livejournal's. but don't want to put them main-stream like xanga/facebook because i don't like those type of pictures on people's profile.. idk. i put it up because i like how i look.

anyway. dance soon. hw now.

new profile picture

i decided to play with it some with the tools picasa had.
i really wish i had photoshop so that i could do more things to it.
like fade out the background or do some color highlights or something.

clara, we really need to have that party so i can wear that outfit again.
and we'll have to do it that friday on that weekend after Middleton because my mom already has plans for me that saturday.
i really want to have a party, we're overdue. tell me what you think. and we'll talk tomorrow or something.

valentine's day

not my favorite holiday
also considering that i've never had anyone on valentine's day. it always falls right inbetween relationships/boys.
today was no different.
i wasn't hungry at all today, i had to force down my lunch. and yet, i also kept forcing down whatever candy i had to see if it'd make me feel any better. it didn't.
so now, i'm sick off candy and still don't feel good.

this really is the most depressing day of the year.
but at least you know you're loved by others even if others don't.

random fun-ness of the week

-my dad and i:
thrusday night my dad and i go to office depot. they don't have the backboard i want, so we spent an hour trying to figure out what to do with the boards office depot have. and we figure out something that looks even better.
we're driving home from wal-mart on the curvy ox bottom road and
he asks: you ever tried Anti-Lock Brakes?
me: yeah, i tried them with that Jetta we test drove a while back
dad: you could feel it go bump bump bump and all
me: yeah..
...
dad: wanna try 'em?
me:yeah, let's go.
*BRAKEEEEEE*
both: *cracking up*

- spending 6 hours at Candace's house:
i made our backboard and spent an hour on it with my exato knife. i even geometry to cut out our corner triangles and make sure the sides could fold into each other. and now when it stands up, the sides even lean back like they're presenting the board. and the outside boards fit perfectly with cuts. you'll have to see it. amazing.
also making pancakes for dinner
and cutting foam with the exato knife again for some of our pictures.

-PC
just plain dancing. i realized its not something that really, clearly defines me, but oh do i love to do it. and the adrenaline rush you get when you're preforming. one of my dances, that everyone gets tired out doing like half-way through, everyone was hitting it throughout the entire dance. of course we all collapsed right after we got off, but while you're preforming.. you just know you can do whatever the move is.
and two of my dances getting High Gold (one of them my small group in which there's less people and more chances to notice someone doing something wrong.) and our large group that we can absolutely never get together got Platinum which is the HIGHEST and most prestige award. plus that dance got 1st place high score out of the large groups (which is also good).
also, hanging out with my mom and sister. just the girls.
oh, and our reservation got canceled (because we originally booked fri and sat night, but then canceled friday, but they canceled both) and my mom was not happy and does not take that sort of thing without a fight. we got the corner, bayview suite for the price of a regular room. so that was nice.

-rocket launching:
after the girls got home, my dad, brother and brother's friend and i went out to Chiles' soccer practice feilds and shot off rockets. A engine = smallest, B = medium, C = largest engine we had with us.
our 3rd or 4th launch, we (more like i) decided to launch the smallest, lightest rocket with a C engine. ..it got up into the clouds, but we tilted it too much into the wind and lost it in the woods. lol. we then spent about 20 minutes or so exploring the woods behind Chiles looking for the rocket. there are deer trails back there that are pretty cool. we didn't find it but
and then after a while, i took the job of positioning the angle of the launch pad stick into the wind to make it land as close to us as possible. my most impressive was 30 meters away with a C engine in a tiny rocket. i also had 9 and 2 meters away but that was with an A engine in a heavy rocket, so it didn't go very far up.
very fun stuff.

that's my random fun stuff of the weekend. homework today wasn't fun and i still need to memorize a spanish paragraph my 6th period. craaaaap.
i hate Mrs Knoll's memorizing spree

OWC this weekend (i need to study again)

oops. i haven't written in a while

my xanga has my recent posts.
i like posting in here though because only a select few know about it and it sometimes even takes them a while before they read it. doesn't mean that i can completely spill my guts in here, just nice to know i have a bit more freedom in what i can write and not have so many people read it.

i like keeping stuff in my head sometimes. like just making my own little world where every event is perfect. keeps me entertained.
but it also entails hope. so, only after i've accepted that this world/personal mock up of future events won't happen, then i can enjoy it.
it's weird. i'm a very optimistic person, yet try to have low expectations so i'm not disappointed.
maybe i'm optimistic about bad events: that they'll bring something good, that it happened for a reason and with time, will bring something good. whereas with immediate future events, i try to have low expectations to not be disappointed. or just not be disappointed in general and say it happened for a reason. which brings me back to being optimistic.

anyways, when you think about something for too long, it becomes so idealistic to you that sometimes you can't accept the real thing it was based off of.

i don't like change too much. especially when i don't know what the change is or what it's going to be to. once i know what it's going to change to, i can pretty much figure out what i should do next. it's the "something's going to change but you don't know what or when or how yet" that i hate the most. a foreboding thing that you don't even know what it is.
probably why i always have to know everything. everything i find pertinent that isn't sticking my nose in someone else's business.


anyways, my pondering thoughts. off to do some psych.

sunday

so.. today i watched Love Actually, Top Gun, Independence Day, Desperate Housewives, and now Brothers and Sisters.
i reeeally hope that nothing's due tomorrow cuz i didn't do anything
i have a book project thing due tues (that i'll due tomorrow night)
and chem problems due wed (that i'll start tomorrow night as well)

Buchholz is coming. i'll probably study some mao sometime this week, hopefully.
tomorrow i'll find out who's all coming on this trip. maybe that'll help some decisions. :-\

ha. so i'm bored.

i haven't done practically anything the past couple of days..
saturday i went to the beach. that was real mellow and fun.
sunday i unwillingly stayed home and did nothing. not during the day nor at night. i was especially upset about the night part. my mom said we could have a new years party next year at our house. just the thing is, is that a lot of other people throw ones as well which would take away from mine.. and as much as i would love to be invited to those parties, i never am. ever. i've only ever threw my own or sat at home on new years. (except last year i spent the night at Kaley's)
just that when i talk to people, either they don't care about new years and are perfectly fine not staying up, or have a friend who's throwing a party that i don't know.
gah. i'm complaining. and i can't do anything about what happened on sunday.
i guess i'll just worry about whether to plan a party or not next year if no one else is. i'll just have to start planning it at like the beginning of dec so that all the people staying in town will actually know i'm throwing one. and maybe i'll actually have someone to kiss at midnight by then (cuz that's never happened either)
anyways
i also didn't do much monday either. except that night i went with Clara and saw Casino Royale. good movie. just, we got to the mall early to buy Cicy a present, and got there right before 6. found her a present and still had like an hour before the movie started. and then right at 6, allll the stores closed. all of them. (good thing we got there when we did.)
so then we just went and bought our tickets and watched Charlotte's Web for about 45 min until 007 started. which was a loot better than charlotte's web. lol

today. i decided to do my hw because i haven't done any of it over the break. and some of it i have to turn in to school tomorrow. lol. although that only took about hour or two of my time up. (and mostly because i was kinda spacey doing it..) and then proceeded to watch tv and not do anything except be online, like always, for the rest of the day :-)
of course, the night's still young, i could go out and do something with some people. but only if they ask. i don't feel like planning anything right now.

tomorrow i really need to do my chemistry. and my calc. and some history fair so i don't let candace down. chemistry might take a while. but hopefully, since i'll be doing something, i won't be distracted worrying about other things and be too spacey.
sucks that school's in a day.
but i'm looking forward to Cicy's party. it seems like it's farther away than it actually is. probably because my first obstacle to tackle is school starting again, and then Cicy's party.
but i'm wearing my new shirt to her party. and my new earrings. i'm going to look hott. though, Cicy said the only hott guy there will be Alan Chen, sucks that he's a sophomore. i don't go after younger guys.. even if they are hott.

ok. this is definitely long enough, i'll be surprised if anyone reads all this.

2006

so i spent a good amount of time recapping 2006 in a xanga entry a little while ago.
http://www.xanga.com/gummbbear/559810946/2006.html is where it's at.

it's raining outside and i still don't know for sure what i'm doing tonight. i think i'm worrying too much about it. i just really wanna do something
maybe that could be a new years resolution: don't worry so much about things or whats going to happen or whatnot. just let them flow. everything will take it's designated course pretty much no matter what you do. (because you know those psychic movies/tv shows where someone looks into the future and sees something they don't like so they do whatever they can to try and stop it, but in the process of trying to stop the event, the even happens anyway.)
i think i'll just enjoy life and not worry about what will or won't happen.

this is one time that i do not like the rain.

guess what?!

i now have picture messaging and video messaging and mp3 player allll together!!
and

:-)

i also finished all my Christmas shopping yesterday too and it only took me 8 hours. (4 with my mom and 4 with my dad)
although, my parents did some shopping of their own while i was with them so that's mostly why it took so long.

yay for Christmas specials all day. tomorrow doesn't feel like it should be Christmas. maybe it's because i left all my shopping til the last minute. or maybe because it's the 3rd day of winter and it's 70° outside.

i think i'm going to play with my phone some more.. :-D

maybe i should just skip tomorrow

i think i should. i really don't want to have anymore to do with exams.
just worrying for no reason is giving me a headache. like my history exam that i got a 100 on. blah. my stat exam i got a 93 on.. i thought i could of done better, but it was multiple choice, so i guess with no partial credit, i can get some wrong.. oh well, still have a 98 in the class and it'll show up as an A on my report card.
Spanish i just have to make a notecard for, so it shouldn't take too long, i hope. but i really don't want to worry, but i will.

i think my dad and i are going to alltel when he gets home (hopefully) to go look at phones. i'll probably end up getting the razr, i never really wanted one, but if it's the best deal Alltel has right now.. i'll take it.

i want to do something tomorrow after school. nick and i are the only ones in on the plans. still don't know what we're doing and other people can come too. just gotta find those other people. you're welcome to come if you're reading this.

-edit-
calc ch 6 test: 99/100! (now if only that was our exam grade :-\. and i kinda wana see what i missed if it was only one point. lol)

Kansas City Shuffle

i've always kinda wondered if i could sneak out of my house. and do it, just to see if i could. although, it'd be kinda stupid to get caught for nothing, but then again, i probably wouldn't get in trouble because it was nothing. and then i'd know i'd have a harder time sneaking out of the house actually for something. but you know, it seems like it's in the high-school teenager handbook that you have to sneak out of your house at least once. i only have a year and 1/2 left now. :-\

watched Lucky Number Sleven last night. was kinda slow until the end. but i really liked the end.
you should see it if you haven't already.

last time i took pictures with my camera was Thanksgiving. i brought it last night to the soccer game, but there wasn't much to take pictures of.. so i didn't take any. i'll bring it tonight and take pictures. I had this urge all the sudden to upload pictures on to here, that's why this is pertinent, but then realized i haven't really taken any since Thanksgiving. (unless you count the ones i took after Kavi's party, but i don't)

oh and more good news: my mom found my keys. they were in my jacket i was wearing at Kavi's party. i never usually put things in that jacket, so i didn't look there. but now they're found. yay

i think i'll take some pictures and edit this later tonight with them. and then probably Megan and Peter's party, i'll take pictures there too and that'll be my combined album on Facebook. :-)


i hope i actually get to see see people over the break, like hang out with them, see them. and i want to go ice skating at Klemen Plaza in 80 degree weather. mostly because i haven't been ice skating in a while. i'll also need to find people that'll want to go with me. and then afterwards, we can go see a movie at IMAX. i've planned this all out..

soccer

going to the boy's soccer game tonight vs Lincoln (more than likely).
i've been wanting to go to one all year (preferably Leon, but their next one vs Leon is on a wed, so probably won't go) but this is like their first home game that isn't on a monday or wednesday or a day i have something going on. and it's a big game, i guess, so other people will be there. yay.

lets see... saturday night will be Sarah's party which should be fun. (oh, i wana scrap some money off my mom for a present. :crosses fingers: )
sunday i have small group (dance) and then i need to do my stat review.
monday - wednesday i have exams (only in the morning though)
monday and wednesday i also have dance, idk if i'm going yet or not, probably should since i missed last week, but monday night i'll be studying calc and history for tuesday's exams and wednesday is the day we get out. so.. i might want to do something that night. idk. i'll probably go monday and hopefully find something to do wed. night.
thursday i don't have anything - this day is reserved for sleep and watching movies.
friday is our family friends christmas party thing at like 5 or so. and then i'll probably go late to Peter and Megan's Party later that night.
and then sat-sun is nothing
monday is christmas
then the next sunday is new years (which i definitely need to find some party to go to then or something!)
that last week before school starts i also need to start my class homework (chem, calc, history fair, etc.)


i did my hair. tried a new way to curl it.. probably won't hold for long. and i figured i could do it because if it doesn't work out, only the people at the soccer game will see..

i wish we still did soccer on the weekends, makes me sad that it kinda died.

i'm using my new purse tonight. maybe i can take pictures too. i need to pay my dad back for my camera. i wonder how tonight will turn out.

LOVES!

i absolutely love these kids! :-)

ahhh!

Kavi's party was sooo much fun.

i realized driving home how much i love dancing. i didn't want the party to end because i wanted some good music to come on to dance to. and didn't want to leave once it came on.. (although curfew and crap - i had to). but i do love dancing and dressing up.
one of the reasons why i love the mao state and nationals conventions so much is because we get an excuse to dance. and with kids we don't know, so it really doesn't matter.
(i think the worst kid of people to, i guess dance with, are your acquaintances. because they don't know you that well, and if they don't like your dancing style, they'll have a negative image of you..) but with people you're close to, it doesn't matter, they already have an opinion of you, and people you don't know you'll probably never see again, so it doesn't matter.

damn i looked good tonight. i think i'm posting a "myspace" picture on here just to document how good i looked tonight.
or or
take your pick. the party probably would have been better context.. but, this'll work for the given circumstances.

haha. i love how easily you can post pictures on here right from Picasa. :-)

i'm off to bed.
night



ps. if you read this comment on this post. i wana know if anyone else besides clara reads this, b/c i know nick and kevin and roland all have one, just don't think they read others..

T to the A to the S T E Y

i have had fergalicious in my head most of the day.
it's an addicting song. lol

friday should be fun. of course, i have to come home, go shopping for her present, come back home, probably take a shower, blowdry/straighten my hair, get ready, be over to Kavi's house by 7 to bring her black lights and help her set up.
hopefully i'll be able do all that and not be rushed with it. i hate being rushed with that stuff.

Clara. what are you wearing?
because we were picking out like halter and strapless shirts for Kavita. so i was thinking i could wear this shirt i've had forrever but just never really been able to wear it.. but it's a tubetop type shirt (meaning strapless), brown, has like blue and white pretty flowers on it and comes down right pass my belt. only problem is i'm afraid it might fall down and nothing looks good underneath it (like wearing a spaghetti-strap under it or something) it doesn't work. i was really just going to say whatever, and wear it. and then wear my beige corduroy jacket over it to the party, and then like take it off inside and all.. i don't know though, i don't want to see too dressed up/out of place.
so uh, i wana know what you're wearing. but also, i might just wear it, b/c if it looks good, i'm wearing it.
but let me know.


and then saturday we're going over to jacksonville to have xmas with my mom's family. yay presents.

i should be doing hw. peace.

status: Busy

this weekend is going to be hectic.
friday night: relaxing and possibly studying vocab
saturday: SAT (morning-noonish)
then to find where people are having lunch and hopefully meet up with them.
Rickards Invitational awards. (til 4ish)
then either Festival of Lights (with the Jingle Bell Run at 6:30) from probably 5:30/6 til 10sih..
or a Kaley's birthday thing (dinner time)
if Kaley organizes something, i'll be doing that instead of the Jingle Bell run..

Sunday: homework?!
small group
and Clara, we should probably get together and finish this calc project b/c it'll be our last weekend before it's due. and my mom's wondering when we can throw it away as it sits in our refrigerator. lol


i still have chem left to do. i really just gave up when i saw "find the lattice energy" b/c that was the section i need to read, and exactly the section i don't want to. i finished everything else except those last couple problems (thing is, is that there are only 2 lattice crap problems, and then 3 questions left after that and i haven't read those problems because they're after the lattice ones, and i like my questions in order. lol) i'll probably just do it at lunch or copy someone's with work so that i don't have to read all that when that box rambles on foreverrrrrrr.

anyways. i'm out.
(i think this will be my sum-up long entry from xanga blog. lol
and Clara, i think you're the only one that knows i have one and update it. lol)

TURKEY!

haha. last night i was babysitting for our former neighbors, and the two girls are also friends with my sister.
so, yesterday, i found out that my sister has a myspace. i figured she would eventually, i would just have to find it. well, i found it.
now, i get to spy on all her myspace doings. and she would get to do the same for me, but since i raaarely ever use myspace unless someone else comments or something, i don't think it'll be too much a problem.
only thing, is that now that i've let her into my myspace, she can more than likely link to my other sites (xanga mostly, which is why i'm writing in here, because i haven't used this in such a long time, that i doubt there are any links to it anywhere. ). but she hasn't gotten a facebook yet, i think that'll come around next year or so. that's when i'll really have to just be cautious and such.
my little sister's growing up.. awww. now she needs to get herself a boy.

nov. 20

it's been over a year, and i haven't written in this thing... haha. Clara just brought it to my attention that i still can get comments on it.

it's just been easier for me to post on xanga where the majority of people are, and then have that post posted to facebook where even more people are. (of course i have privacy settings and all).
i mostly keep this so i can comment on other people's blogs that also have blogger.

plus! i can't figure out how to put links on my blog page so i can see other peoples' easier and there's not some sort of subscribe or friend thing so i can see others' blogs easier..
so, if someone (out of the 4 people i know on here, and probably only 2 of them know i have one of these) could help me out on that, i'd probably use this more often. :-)
i guess i just need to figure out how to navigate around better.. and it's not really working...


-edit-
i got the links thing! :-)

ok i am so at a loss. my second post i had in here, i some how posted 2 pictures, i'm assuming from my hello account, in here, and in the same post. i'm trying agian to post multiple pictures into the same post but its not working. it'll only post one at a time. agg! if i could post mulitple pictures all at the same time and still put captions in. do you know how simple and easy that would make my whole life! lol i'd use this thing a whooole lot more and post so many pictures in here. but i have no idea how to do that straght from hello.
arg. this makes me mad, that i think i did it before, and now i don't know how to do it again. if anybody, somehow, is reading this and knows how to post multiple pictures through Hello all at once. i will love you forever!!

much love.